Önámításról

Aktuális lett több ok miatt is, hogy erről a jelenségről gondolkodjak hangosan.

Ugyanis, az én szememben az egyik legkártékonyabb, egyszersmint az egyik legveszélyesebb dolog is.
Nem csupán azért, mert az álom világunk, vagyis, az a szemüveg amit felteszünk, hogy eltakarja a rideg tényeket nagyot fog koppanni amiko leesik, hogy eltöri a lábunkat. A viccen kívül, az önámítás egy szintig az embernek szórakoztató, a valós gond ott kezdődik, amikor ebben az álomvilágban más szereplők is vannak. Ugyanis, úgy gondolom, hogy mindenki a saját életét úgy teszi tönkre, ahogy az neki jól esik, és ebbe senkinek, de senkinek nincs beleszólási joga. Egészen addig a pontig, amig ezzel mások életét nem befolyásolja markánsan.

Azért emelem, ki hogy markánsan, mert nyilván mindenkire valamilyen hatással vagyunk, akaratunkon kívül is, amiről nyilván nem tehetünk. Viszont, amikor valaki a saját életével kapcsolatban hoz döntéseket közép illetve hosszútávon (ezt a két definiciót értsük most, mondjuk közgazdaságilag), azért mert én mondtam neki valamit, akkor felelősséggel tartozom azért az emberért, mert bízott bennem, és rám hallgatott.

Innét ez a furcsa “művészet” és “játék” véresen komollyá válik. Mert, van amikor elhisszük, hogy ez a helyes és tényleg ezt akarjuk. Ugyanakkor tudjuk, hogy csak menekülünk valami elől, amivel nem tudunk/nem akarunk szembenézni, esetleg nem tudunk feldolgozni, vagy elfogadni.

Az első repedés a tükrön amikor jön a kétely, hogy biztos jó-e ez. Úgy gondolom, hogy amikor a kérdés felmerül, akkor már önmagában nagy a gond. Sőt, a kérdés valójában költői, mert mi magunk is tudjuk, hogy nem, nem jó. Különben nem lenne maga a kérdés sem.

A drámai csúcspont persze a végső felismerés, amikor végletesen összetörik a görbe tükrünk, és a napnál is világosabb, hogy hülyeséget csináltunk hosszú ideje. Sőt, ezzel a hülyeséggel a másokat is tévútra vittünk, és ők miattunk vállaltak el olyan dolgokat, amiket amúgy nem tettek volna, de számítottak ránk, hogy mellettük leszünk közben.

A megoldás a valódi kérdőjel, hogy van-e egyáltalán. Személyesen nyilván van, a szembenézés az alap problémával, ami az egészet okozta, minden más csak egy újabb csepp ragasztó a tükörre, aminek már úgy is teljesen mindegy.

A másikkal szemben viszont nem tudom hogy van-e megoldás. Ugyanis nem hiszem, hogy a másik szemébe nézni 1 év után és bejelenteni, hogy “bocs, még az exemet szeretem, és elköltözöm / elválok tőled” a megoldás kategóriába tartozna. Főleg nem a másik szemszögéből nézve. Ugyanakkor, mégis jobb, mint nyilvánvaló hazugságban élni. Nem mellékesen pedig ez egy hozzámmérten radikális és szinpadias dolog is egyben, talán, de az őszinteségen kívül szerintem nincs más út.

Az “amit nem tudsz, az nem fáj” mantra pedig hazugság.

“Önámításról” bejegyzéshez 73 hozzászólás

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